At Healing Anger, we often hear clients say:
“I just go from 0 to 100 in seconds.”
“I shut down before I can say anything.”
“I try to stay calm, but it’s like something takes over me.”
If these experiences resonate with you, you’re not alone. And there’s a name for what you’re going through, it’s called moving outside your Window of Tolerance.
What Is the Window of Tolerance?
The Window of Tolerance is a concept developed by Dr. Dan Siegel to describe the emotional zone where we can function and feel our best.
Inside this window, we can:
– Think clearly
– Stay connected to ourselves and others
– Respond instead of react
– Cope with life’s challenges in a grounded way
When we’re within this zone, even big emotions can be managed with presence and care.
But when we’re pushed outside our window, often by stress, trauma, or unresolved emotional pain, we can shift into one of two protective states:
Hyper-arousal (Above the Window)
You might feel:
Anxious or restless
Angry or easily triggered
Panicked or out of control
Flooded with racing thoughts or tension
This is your nervous system in fight-or-flight mode.
Hypo-arousal (Below the Window)
You might feel:
❄️ Numb or disconnected
❄️ Tired, foggy, or frozen
❄️ Emotionally shut down
❄️ Like your voice or energy disappears
This is your system in freeze mode, a quiet collapse for survival.
Why Does This Happen?
If you’ve lived through trauma, chronic stress, or emotionally unsafe environments, your body may have learned to leave the window quickly to keep you safe.
These survival strategies were wise. They helped you endure.
But today, they may be making it hard to feel connected, calm, or in control.
The hopeful news? Your window can expand. With the right conditions, your nervous system can gently relearn safety, presence, and connection.
How Do You Expand Your Window of Tolerance?
Healing happens not through force, but through compassionate awareness, skillful practice, and meaningful support.
Some key tools include:
– Mindfulness and breathwork to return to the present moment
– Somatic awareness — listening to what your body is saying
– Co-regulation — feeling safe with others, not just alone
– Psychoeducation — understanding your patterns and physiology
– Trauma-informed group work or individual therapy
Join Us
“Mapping What Lives Within” One-Day Workshop
A creative and powerful exploration of your Window of Tolerance through body-based awareness, art-making, and community care.
What You’ll Experience:
– Learn how your nervous system responds to anger and stress
– Practice regulating hyper- and hypo-arousal gently and effectively
– Map your emotional landscape through creative body mapping
– Build capacity for grounded connection — with yourself and others
This workshop is designed for women and gender-diverse folks who are ready to turn toward their emotions with curiosity instead of shame, and compassion instead of judgment.
Date: Saturday, October 18th
Location: In-Person at Healing Anger, Vancouver
Register here (Find Out More Details)
Let’s walk this healing path together.
Because your anger is not too much.
Your body is not broken.
And with the right support, your window can grow.
With care,
The Healing Anger Team
